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My son, the hu(man) I love most in the world, is in love with a seemingly amazing young woman. He is happier than I have seen him in too long. He has worked with great diligence and purpose, on himself, on being a good (hu)man, on learning from that which has brought him self- and other inflicted pain. He has worked extraordinarily hard on accepting what is and what isn’t, on taking the best out of the worst, and on what life and happiness mean, to him.
I had nowhere near the insight into self, life, and the world, at his age, and I am grateful that I saw fit, before MY pain and ignorance perpetuated a cycle in HIS life, that many struggle to break, to change our present and future, by working through my traumatic past, and the ‘survival ‘skills’ that came with it. I am grateful that I never hid the truth of my realities from him, so that he got a balanced picture, of what some of my best successes, and worst failures, truly gave me, as a human, as a woman, as a parent, and give him, as a human, as a man, as someone’s love, as her love.
I am happy to have something to be happy about, in the midst of this, a brand new level of body-hell.
And Ima pay that young woman a surprise visit (we’ve not met yet), bearing flowers of thanks, at her place of work on Saturday.
Because I am grateful to her, for seeing in him, what anyone who meets him, often only briefly, sees, senses, is often awed by. What I have known, appreciated, loved about him, his entire life, along with the darker bits, because he has them, just like me, just like her, just like all of us.
I am grateful that they found to one another, because he is why I chose to live, more times than I care to count, in the past, and in very recent times, he is still the reason, for that, and his happiness of paramount importance to me.
I will bring her flowers because she may not have had the benefit of a supportive family, through the hard stuff, or cheerleaders, through her triumphs, so I want to welcome her, into ours, because we know how to do that. We know how to do all that, and then some, really well.
Gratefully unfiltered: Marcela.
October 10, 2019
Posted by ~MyLa | Filed under Commentaries: On what matters to me, My World(s), The 'L' Word
"Let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the
spirit. For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own
mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the
unprofitable is caught."
-kahlil Gibran
Interestingly enough, I deliberately cast a net a few years ago,
and in so doing, despite my oppositional flailings against its
very nature, the 'catch' quite inadvertently developed,
through a love and friendship unlike any other I have known,
into a profound deepening of my spirit, one not unlike what
Mr. Gibran speaks of.
~M.Y.M.
Kahlil Gibran quote from Google Search
Poetry and Image: All Rights Reserved Marcela Mrnka, please share
but do attribute. Thank you.
~M.
From: John R Sent: Friday, May 24, 2019 11:33 PMTo: Marcela Yvonne Subject: Re: Just wondering….
embarked upon the first leg of your current adventure, some weeks ago now.
But those thoughts never stray too far from that which is right in front of you, and I imagined you applying your vast knowledge of world histories to it, that which is right in front of you, right now, in the moment. For you are, among so many other things, a master of that art, and I have learned by observing you in moments we have shared. I have been paying attention.
More, because bereft of the traps of ownership and ex-pectations, we have afforded, each the other, and selves something only others who function this way, can know, can understand, can appreciate, can savour. More because these feelings I harbour for you are not based in fear of what I would miss without you, for I am secure in my person without any other. More, because they are based in genuine affection, respect for exactly who the other is, not that which we think they ought or desire them to be, or need them to be, to be OK with, to be OK in, our own skins.
"I honor every woman who has strength enough to step out of the
beaten path when she feels her walk lies in another; strength
enough to stand up to be laughed at, if necessary.
That is the bitter pill we must all swallow in the beginning,
but I regard these pills as tonics quite essential to one's
mental salvation."
-Harriet Hosmer
Harriet was a very wise woman! Fortunately for me, I have yet to
find the rule, stating an age limit for stepping out of said
beaten path, a maximum number of out-steppings, or a ceiling on
failed(?) quantity of attempts to blow up the proverbial box.
And should I come across these rules at any point in my trudges,
travails and travels, I shall, happily as ever, break them.
In keeping with my contradictory life and self, it begins
(again) now, with a sexy-ass BigSteelBox.
~Marcela; moving off the beaten path, coming un-boxed one more
time, in a BigSteelBox.
March 02, 2019
