Bitch, when you come for me, slinging fictitious accusations, odium and slander, I will not come for you, flinging righteous recriminations, for to wile and guile, I no longer pander. Bitch, when you come for me un-shielding a hot blade of fallacies, short truths and tall tales, I will not come for you, wielding absurd analyses, for defensive drivel, rarely prevails. Bitch, when you come for me, impelled by your suffering, my own to repudiate, a pain solely yours not an iota is mine, I will come for you, compelled only to extricate, for peaceful relations, means never entwine. ~Marcela: happy to wear what is mine, refusing to don that, which is solely part of your current wardrobe. August 08, 2020 Poetry and Photograph: All Rights Reserved.
I awoke to twittering birdsong, and a fresh spring breeze danced through the open window, and I was puzzled, so I queried the disquieting encumbrance, which sat so heavily in my heart. And as every morning, since Monday last, I remembered where you are. I hold you close my dearest friend, like a child her well-loved flannel; And Parker visits yet again to whisper in our ears: “Constant use ha[s] not worn ragged the fabric of [our] friendship."* I love you ; with the entirety ; of our valiant, purple hearts. ~Marcela; with nothing but love and hope for your recovery, MySue. April 11, 2020 Writing and photo: All Rights Reserved - Marcela: Unfiltered *https://dorothyparker.com/books-by-dorothy-parker
I implore thee;
with Disdainfully Derisive missiles
to Dispute and Discount,
that which Displeases Your sensibilities.
For you will;
Disturb and Decrease,
and in the end;
D e a d.
On the floor.
~Marcela: deflatedly in love, and fully Unfiltered.
Image; with thanks: https://www.angelinawrona.ca
-I believe that we can change the world, one action at a time
-I believe that part of that is supporting one person, family, group, at a time
-I believe that providing that support directly, without conditions, to be utilized as the person(s) receiving it see fit, is crucial to anyone’s success in getting through a difficult time, whatever that is for them.
Chantale is this Sunday’s (June 7th 2015) walk/donations recipient. Her mission is to heal her body from Squamous Carcinoma and she has pursued hollistic and most recently chemo and radiation therapies. You can follow her journey here: Chantale’s Journey
She received little to no support from any number of systems in our world, the very systems designed to help, but fraught with loopholes, conditions, and vast gaps and crevices that folks in the midst of a fight for their very life and breath often cannot navigate, by nature of the very challenge that brought them to these systems. I am not looking to cure Chantale, only she, her body, mind and bottomless heart and spirit, along with the therapies she chooses can do that. I am looking to provide her some basics of life quality and comfort (not having to worry about rent/food/rides to the hospital…), while she navigates this multi-barriered road in an effort to help herself.
My son Thomas & I can walk 50K on Sunday (we’ve done it before… let’s hope we do it again), my mama Marcella and the beautiful (hu)man Dieter can bring us refreshments and cheer us on when it gets hard, but our financial resources are not bottomless, so it has always been my belief, that many of us giving a bit, more often, is more effective in the long term, than a few of us giving more less often.
I have never met Chantale, but I have grown to love her fiercely, for so many reasons, but primarily, because she fought for her right to decide what was best for her in the face of severe opposition and betrayal by previously noted systems, and because when faced with few alternatives, she still hasn’t given up, just broadened her perspective about said alternatives and come at it from a place we could all do well to emulate; a place of love for self, and acceptance of what is, as opposed to what should be.
So here is my request to all of you: Send $20, or $10 if that is all you can do, it’s four, or two, fancy coffees, one meal you pack to go instead of eating out. It might not make that huge a dent in your life right now, but I know it will in Chantale’s, particularly as she now begins the upward climb of healing from the therapies she has undergone for the last several weeks. Please help us help.
History and other links regarding this current and past actions are here:
FB Page is here:Walking With Love For You
Internet Banking E-transfers to: email@example.com (please remember to send a security question/answer)
Cash and/or bottle returns: I’ll pick it from you where/when ever is convenient
Cheques payable to M. Mrnka, c/o: s.a.f.e – #204, 107 Evans Street, Duncan BC, V9L 1P5
Remember last year?
December 27 – 31, 2013
As another difficult calendar year comes to an end, I find myself thinking out loud, reflecting on, several relationships in my life that may have run their course, perhaps a long time ago. There is little or no animosity (left) for me in this process. What remains, however, is some sadness. A sadness that reminds me of why I was so hurt in my last romantic-love-relationship: A relationship with me was not worth that person’s effort, time or energy, in terms of talking about, and getting through, the hard-shit. Notice I say the relationship was not worth it to him, not ‘I’ wasn’t worth it. Because I know better, than to believe that shite, at this juncture.
These other relationships I speak of are so similar, in that it feels as though to some, a friendship with me, is not worthy of any maintenance efforts, the maintenance that any meaningful relationship requires. Again, little or no animosity, or resentment, just reflection and sadness. Many of these relationships sustained me through some very difficult, as well as some amazingly fantastic times, and I am, often to my own detriment, eternally(?) loyal. To these folks, who had some instrumental role in my survival of self, in my evolution, but whose (mutual?) benefit and utility have devolved to what now amounts to a false allegiance, and creates suffering, for me. Not by virtue of any fault on anyone’s part, rather due to the divergence of our respective paths, and by virtue of changes to our internal and external geographies. And while I understand, on a profoundly deep level, what I must do, in order to honour self and my friendship needs, it is difficult to let these people go. I am tempted to hang on, again, with nail-beds bleeding from my over-extended grasp, and a number of potential fears come to mind about where my struggle originates. I do not fear change in and of itself, it has been the only constant in my life to date. I do not fear a void requiring filling, essentially, they have been absent, neglectful, for some time, some for several years. So I am curious, about what the struggle is, but not enough to keep me stuck here. Perhaps by letting go, I will create the window I need, to see…
What I actually believe to be at the core of it, is the mind-numbing realization that I have truly blown myself wide open, and understand what I need more than ever before, during my tenure to date, in this life and persona. I understand that via the very process of opening, the path has narrowed, again. There is only enough space on it for co-adventurers whose intellectual, spiritual, physical and emotional needs, and world views, are in closer alignment with my own, than at any point in time previous to this one. This does not mean that my mind and worlds are closing to other perspectives, ways of being and believing, it means that I recognize the core of me, now, at this moment in time. It means that I can only provide space in my immediate circle for those who will help me keep it, the core of me, safe. Safe, while I function in and navigate the vast and diversified roads and worlds of my life’s works and passions. Worlds laden with conflict and human suffering, individual and systemic oppressions of every heinous ilk and variety. Safe, and loved. Fed, not hungry and suffering, for my truth and passions. Here it is again, hey Pema Chodron? That entire fear-truth-letting-go-of-attachment-and-permanence-thing, I say that smiling, broadly, and with eyes, heart, wide open.
It feels allright though, really, it feels better than that, it feels like me, 100% Marcela: Unfiltered.
For the coming New Year I resolve:
1) to keep, welcome, in(to) my life and the spaces I occupy, only that and those whom nourish and sustain well and dignify, my heart, my mind, my body, my spirit, my soul.
2) See 1.
That is all.