The hardest goodbye... on March 16th of this year, my closest, most
loyal, most enduring friend Sue Graves, and David Johnson,
experienced every parent's worst nightmare. It is hard to believe 
that this vibrant young man has been gone for six months, and even
harder to scribe the ditty I promised at his send-off on March 24th, 
as I collected 'Miller-words' from all the folks who 
loved him so much... 

MILLERESQUE 
Dear Miller Robert Clayton Johnson,
in March we gathered on that day
our sorrow-laden hearts were heavy,
but we had some shit to say!

‘I had to stay alive to raise him,’
said your mama Sue –
‘no other ever would or could,
what else was I to do’?!?

You were a handful Millsie,
unconventional and true,
and then there was that awkward story,
of when you had to poo…

It went rollin down your pant leg,
then you gave that shit a toss
said ‘I, don’t need no old-man toilets,’
my kid still thinks, you’re the Boss!

Your shenanigans were legendary
hell on wheels and cars off roads,
same goes for your vocabulary
bitches assholes motherfuckers, shitty faggot-toads!

Your delivery was impeccable,
the timing most inglorious
but with a heart the size of Texas,
for THIS you were notorious!

Ryan Scotty Garret, said you’d give your shirt for anyone,
they just had to say they need it
many walked with so much more,
Millerish won out, where brain and logic ceded.

Solid, stand-up and insatiable,
an explosive combination
hilarious ridiculosity,
a most Milleresqe conglomeration!


Loving, kind and house-trained,
we got the real-life scoop
Chantelle sang high your chef-ly praises,  
yeah, Wiener Water Soup!

And then there was your name-sake
Jay Miller, Boston Bruins
Handsome devil just like you
Left girls’ hearts in ruins </3

So as today marks 6 whole months
since that darkest day,
I finally scribe this ditty
my heart in utter disarray.

I went to sit with other dead,
earlier this week,
thought about your parents
tears still rolling down their cheeks.
 
And then there’s all the sibs,
Robin Kevin Haleigh, spouses Kat Salena Steven
their hearts too are breaking daily
footing's still uneven...

For we're all uncertain, how to navigate 
this most unwelcome path,
and our feelings often vacillate
between broken pain and wrath. 

And though our hearts will but grow scars
never truly heal,
know that you, your life, your damned departure,
are one BigFuckingDeal!

~Marcela, </3 September 16, 2016.